Blue Bali. S19, Ep9.

The group heads to Bali!

Chris, walk around this Temple. Thanks.

Chris, walk in front of those monkeys. Perfect.

Chris, walk around the hotel. Great.

Kaitlyn:

Kaitlyn gets the 'walk around the city' date.

Walk, hug, pick up, wrap legs around, kiss.

The two go into a temple where people are working(?).One condition – NO KISSING! I really have no idea what's going on in there. I think they're making friendship bracelets or dream catchers. 

Soules, “Next thing you know we’re walking around with baskets on our heads.” Stupid Americans. Get to work! You! With the small hands, get over here!

Walk around the city, have a beer, talk to locals. Let's speed this up, ABC.

Kaitlyn, “Everyone is so nice.” Translation: You look different than us and have electronics. Are you from the future?

Monkeys are everywhere. I mean, EVERYWHERE. You know what? Chris’ laugh is probably attracting them. Oh, no! The monkeys aren’t… what is happening?? Soules’ laugh is definitely a mating call. This is not the Fantasy Suite he had in mind.

Kaitlyn’s family loved Chris. Kaitlyn loves Chris. It’s gonna hurt when she gets dropped. Gonna hurt even more since she’s let her guard down. She’s much softer than she was at the start of this game show.

Dinner -

Kaitlyn, “I’m scared to tell Chris how I’m feeling.” Heartbreak is a coming!

She is shaking. It’s like prom night.

Kaitlyn, “I have this guard up.” Told ya. She’s used to putting people on the defensive. Early on in the show she was looking for reactions. How far can I push this? I think we’re seeing the real Kaitlyn, now. I miss dirty mouth/has a wall up Kaitlyn, though.

Soules, “I have something for you.” It’s a note from Harrison! He’s so thoughtful, and has such great penmanship, too.

Fantasy Suite - YES!!!

Kaitlyn, “I can’t imagine saying no to that. We deserve it.” I know what that means.

Kaitlyn, “I am falling in love with you.” Yes, Kaitlyn. Minimize the commitment. Soules, “Right back atcha, bud.” Kissy-kissy.

Bow chika-bow wow.

Whitney:

Whitney gets the 'yacht' date.

Run, hug, wrap legs around, kiss. What is up with the wrapping of legs around him? Every one of these broads.

Whitney is still bummed that her sister didn't give Soules her 100% approval of marriage. Get over it. 

Whitney, "I've never felt so sure, so confident of anything in my life." I hope so, cuz while you were in Bali, the hospital just fired you.

Chris isn't fazed by Whitney's sister not giving him her blessing. Atta boy.

Jump in! The water is fine! Whitney needs a tan.

Whitney, "I'm head over heels in love with you." Look, she's probably gonna win, but how fun would it be to see her get dumped? She would GO OFF!

Night -

Soules realizes how big of a deal it would be for Whitney to leave Chicago and her job for him. They only live four hours from each other. Commute. Have a place in both cities. This isn't hard. His insecurity about his hometown is overblown.

Whitney, "I've worked so hard on my career. I've always wanted to be a wife and a mom. I have this career but I'm still not happy. I would just be ready to have babies." You're in luck! You can start tonight!

Whitney, "It's not where you are, It's who you're with." That's nice.

Hey, a note from Harrison! Wonder what it says.

Fantasy Suite – YES!

Whitney, "I’ve thought about this and I think it would be great!" 

Whitney, “I’m ready to become engaged to this man and start a family.”

Do we really need to go through the Becca segment? I guess we will anyway.

Becca:
She gets the 'walk through the rainforest village' date. I think that's what this is.

Walk, wave with both hands, hug, kiss.

Saved the Virgin for last. My favorite Vanessa Williams song, btw.

Soules, "The fact that she's never been in love before worries me." She's gonna have all of the feels!

The two of them go into a temple and meet a medium/shaman/fortune teller. He says they make a great couple and should make love. Becca is embarrassed. Move along, nothing to see here.

Look! A stream. Let's go stand in it and make kisses to each other.

Night -

So nervous. After the really fun day Becca is reconsidering saving herself for marriage. On national tv. She’s totally rational. She’s the opposite of Kaitlyn and taking Soules for a test drive before marriage.

Becca has never fallen or been in love before. These feelings are new.

Fantasy Suite card comes out. What is The Virgin going to do?!! Also, how has there not been a reality show called The Virgin?

Soules has a weird smirk on his face. Becca, “I would love to spend more time together alone.”

Fantasy Suite - YES!!!

In the room after a toast of champagne she drops the virgin bomb on him. He has no idea what to say, like usual. “I respect that in a lot of ways. I’d be lying if it says it surprises me. It says a lot about who you are.” Such as?

Becca, “His response was perfect.” Or non-response.

I’m actually a little pissed at the production team for having that conversation filmed. I seriously doubt this is how she wanted it to go down. She’s too private and closed off for that to have been what happened. Shame on you, ABC.

Next morning -

Becca, go walk on the beach. Great.

Soules, look out off your balcony. Thanks.

Soules, “Whitney and Kaitlyn have both told me that they’re in love with me and Becca hasn’t.” Tears from Soules. Man, the only issue Soules has is what order to get rid of Kaitlyn and Becca. It's not gonna be pretty any way you look at it. After Kaitlyn's date, I think she has more invested and will take the breakup harder. And then she'll get over it when she becomes The Bachelorette.

Here comes pimp Harrison. Soules can still see himself with all three women. Would the three women be willing to move to Utah?

Harrison, “I think you’re headed in the right direction which is good.” Thanks, Harrison. Get back in your cage.

Rose Ceremony:

What are Harrison and Soules wearing? Looks like they’re headed into the dojo for some karate lessons. Apparently they’re on hallowed ground. Whatever that means. No touching! Okay, maybe some hand holding.

Kaitlyn wants to start their lives together, Whitney sees marriage, and Becca is scared. I think I know where this is going.

Soules pulls Becca aside. Wipe that grin off your face, Whitney!

Soules and Becca, “Whisper whisper whisper.” Speak up! Becca, “I’m crazy about you. It’s just been so surprising to me.” Soules, “This is crazy difficult for me.” See ya, Becca.

Meanwhile, Kaitlyn and Whitney are talking like they’re best friends. Let’s go shopping and get mani-pedi’s, girlfriend!

Here comes Soules and Becca back to the Rose Ceremony holding hands. But, you’re on sacred ground. Kaitlyn, “Oh shoot!” HAHAHA! The way she says it! Just when you thought you were safe! Pssst, you’re still safe. And thanks for keeping it pg on these hallowed grounds.

She can’t be right for him if I’m right for him.” Whitney,  “She’s young…” You are three years older than her! What?!

First rose goes to…. Whitney! Come on down. No touching!

The future runner-up rose goes to… Becca! Whoa! Are you shitting me?!

Becca reaches out for Kaitlyn’s hand, she’s not having it. I can’t say this enough, Kaitlyn 4 Bachelorette! That’s the only way I would watch three episodes of that.

Soules, “I’m so sorry.” Sigh. Hug. Whisper. He’s just talking in circles. Complete jibberish. I can’t even type his quotes. Kaitlyn is holding it together pretty well for the most part.

Kaitlyn, “I don’t want to get in there (limo) and do this.” Hop in! Now! Chop chop! This is how tv breakups go.

Safety first. Put your seat belt on. I see you, camera guy! 

Kaitlyn, “The most humiliating moment of my whole entire life.” Really? Come on.

Kaitlyn, “I’m really confused. It blows my mind.” I know, right? Well, toodles.

Next week:

Women Tell All! Where's my invite?

Credits:

Soules talking to monkeys. "Will you accept this rose?" Hope you’ve had you rabies shots, Soules.